stolen smiles

maybe it was you that came to me
or perhaps I went to you,
I am not sure who called to who
but I dreamt of you last night

I fell in love with your smile
all over again,
it was as if I had never seen it before
just like the smell of you
that stirred up familiar emotion
despite the fact that it seemed so new

and that scent was mixed with the perfume
that newborn babies wear

and you held one baby
as I held the other,
we laid next to each other
on your too soft bed

the baby in my hands wore your smile
and she felt like air in my grip
as I held her above me,
your hair called my eyes to you
and you stole my breath
with that devious look of yours

you sighed as you put the baby you held
down on my chest,
before you laid your head next to him
and traced my heart

I imagined four hearts beating in sync
I pictured this dream being a memory
and fought every time the alarm went off
desperate to get back,
back to that bed,
back to you
and the babies,
back to that moment…

and I did,
I was there again
and I was lost again in your smile
and the smell of you
and those little newborn beauties
and the sunlight filtered through white curtains

I had never been so happy to be lost

but these things are not meant to last
and this was nothing different
than anything had ever been
and before the alarm went off again
he stepped into the room,
the boyfriend that was never discussed
and I watched as the image of me faded

with each assault on my mind by the alarm,
the me on the bed
next to the you in my heart,
grew more and more pale
until the babies rested on white sheets
and your head on a pillow

you traced a heart on the bed with your fingertips
as he laid down next to you
and wrapped his arm around your body,
you both smiling at the product of your love

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